So, I'm making myself do things today. Yesterday was 104 degrees. Today promises the same. I'm writing like I'm doing morning pages. No filter. No edits. Getting things out of my head. I open the refrigerator and don't even want to eat but I make myself cut up a nectarine and some strawberries. Add some yogurt and homemade granola. Check breakfast off my list. I make myself fill the bird feeder. I get tired of doing that sometimes. It makes the yard a mess. I rake up piles of spent seed. Nasty. I pull vines that are taking over the beds. I notice the honeysuckle is dying. Damn heat. So hot it kills honeysuckle. I go inside and have to take a second shower and it's not even noon yet. 

I spend ten minutes to draw a doll again. A pitiful little thing that looks even worse in my drawings. Today is Day 2 of 365x2. 

I like our house. I do. I like our yard that looks like a park. But sometimes I hate all that it involves. I hate that I want things just right. Yeah, I could let the vines take over the azaleas;   I could let the redbud seedlings grow. But I feel compelled to clean it up. Even though it would take a ton of work to do it justice. But I tug and pull and get sweaty and then take my second shower.

Today I will go to my sister's pulmonologist's appointment with her. She's fearful she'll be diagnosed with COPD. And she may be right. I'll go and take notes so we can remember what was said. 

Today I am going to really try to be alcohol free.