Simplifying life. Less entertainment. Less food. Less busyness. Less information. This is my goal.

 Yesterday I had glide-out shelves installed in the kitchen cabinets. This meant I had to empty four shelves and look at all the things I never use. It was task to hold each item, ask myself when I had last used it, why I had it, and so on. Now my dining room table is full of bowls and platters and containers to give away. I'd like to think my closet is next. 

There's something to be said about all the space that is felt when all that is not needed is set aside. How clear my head feels when I open a drawer and see only things I use. 

 So, I'm making myself do things today. Yesterday was 104 degrees. Today promises the same. I'm writing like I'm doing morning pages. No filter. No edits. Getting things out of my head. I open the refrigerator and don't even want to eat but I make myself cut up a nectarine and some strawberries. Add some yogurt and homemade granola. Check breakfast off my list. I make myself fill the bird feeder. I get tired of doing that sometimes. It makes the yard a mess. I rake up piles of spent seed. Nasty. I pull vines that are taking over the beds. I notice the honeysuckle is dying. Damn heat. So hot it kills honeysuckle. I go inside and have to take a second shower and it's not even noon yet. 

I spend ten minutes to draw a doll again. A pitiful little thing that looks even worse in my drawings. Today is Day 2 of 365x2. 

I like our house. I do. I like our yard that looks like a park. But sometimes I hate all that it involves. I hate that I want things just right. Yeah, I could let the vines take over the azaleas;   I could let the redbud seedlings grow. But I feel compelled to clean it up. Even though it would take a ton of work to do it justice. But I tug and pull and get sweaty and then take my second shower.

Today I will go to my sister's pulmonologist's appointment with her. She's fearful she'll be diagnosed with COPD. And she may be right. I'll go and take notes so we can remember what was said. 

Today I am going to really try to be alcohol free. 

 July 16, 2022

Looking back, it looks like every year I decide I want to start blogging (writing) again, then I do one or two posts and go on my merry way. I read an article the other day suggesting doing something consistently for two years. Two years. That seemed a bit over the top to me, but it made me wonder. What if I did something every day for two years? What would that feel like? How much improvement would I see? Like write for ten minutes every day for two years. Draw a cat or a bowl or anything every day for two years. 

Right now I am 74 years old. If I started drawing something every day for the next two years, what would happen? One, I would be 76 years old. Two, I might get really good. Something to think about and then maybe blog about? Oh! Two birds with one stone. Do it and write about it. I think I may be on to something.

I've been depressed lately. Several reasons I suppose, but difficult to say really what's behind it. My health. The heat. My rut at home. The fact that I gave up my prozac. All contribute I think. I have no purpose. No joy. Maybe the new plan of Project 365x2 kicks in and at the same time kicks ass.

Maybe I could start a new blog called 365x2. I'm not really sure I can commit to something for two years. One day at a time. Maybe I can commit to that. 

Learning Again

 Over two years and now I decide I want to blog again. I want to write. I want to let my mind, my thoughts flow. I still love going back to read things. Like the post I just reread about my dream about ham, etc. Never in a million years would I have remembered that. Now especially, I’m feeling like I need to make notes, keep records of my life. My memory, she’s not what she used to be. Sad to say,  sad to admit, but it is my reality. Of course, I don’t think I’ve ever had a great memory. Not like Jennifer’s anyway. She really does have a good memory.

So, last week I drove to OKC to spend a few days at Donna’s to help her get adjusted to being home from the hospital and on a walker. She’s recovering from surgery for a bi-lateral fracture on her sacrum. She was in the hospital for 16 days, now she’s home and will continue with PT and OT in her home. I was there two days and was busy the entire time. Cooking, shopping, laundry, misc. this and that. One thing I came away with is a grateful heart for my health and my strength. In fact, as I was packing up to leave, she said her goal was to be as strong as me. Sweet. She called me a warrior. Part of it was that I am comfortable in her house and with her and could anticipate things she would need. Things she didn’t have to ask me to do or have to think about on her own. Take charge and just do things. Like figuring out a way for her to make her morning tea and transport it to a table or the sofa. Simple solution to buy a small thermos that would fit in her pouch that went on the front of her walker. She called me this morning to tell me it worked like a dream. Her morning tea is very important to her and I knew it would be an issue. 

This will be fun and good for my mind to start striving again. I attended a Writer’s Symposium last week that wasn’t about how to write but was a conversation interview with a writer. Connie Cronley was the writer. She writes personal essays and historical stories. The essay is what I want to focus on. 

Day One: New Habits

A walk, first thing this morning. Before coffee, before looking in the mirror. It had rained overnight so it was cool, gray and very quiet. As I walked, it seemed the bicycles were faster, the cars slower, the birds louder and colors more vibrant. A great way to start my day. Remember that.

I dreamed last night I had three giant hams in the refrigerator; my daughter sent me a package of bright blue lacy beans and a bunch of peeled carrots. The ham was disgusting. I was working on trying to get an art show installed, brought from Chicago. I sat on a sofa and smoked a joint with one of the managers helping me get the show, which was a very long (as in 50 yards or so) canvas. My LipSense lipstick made the end of the joint bright red.

Reality: my daughter did send me a bag of beans for Mother's Day but I haven't opened it yet. I know how much she loves her bean club, so for her to send me a bag of them is especially meaningful. No, I won't cook them with ham!

I met Jennifer for a glass of wine and a burger last night at Fleming's. She was exhausted from her week of jury duty. It was an early night for both of us.

I'm working on teaching my cat to love the automatic cat feeder. We're both still learning. My goal is for her to not wake me up at 6 a.m. for food and to not sit on the counter when she's hungry. During the day, she runs to the feeder when she hears it open up and then is very cautious until she can smell the food. So far she is not hearing it at 6 a.m. (only two mornings).

CAT UPDATE
She has an afternoon meal scheduled for 3:00. Today at 2:58 she got up from her nap, went over and sat in front of the feeder to wait. Wow!

Six Years? Really?

When I read my past postings, it makes me realize how much more in tune with my life I am when I write. More mindful of what I do. More observant of what I see. I believe I see or at least acknowledge more beauty around me. But writing takes time and somehow I let time get away. I'm writing today because I want to start the habit again. Tom is en route to Scotland for a guys bucket trip. Seven days of golf in a nine day trip. I have ten days to look at my habits without any consideration whatsoever to someone else's habits, needs, or schedule. I'll see what happens.

I encouraged Tom to keep a journal of his trip. What he eats, things he sees, experiences, etc., so he can (1) remember everything, and (2) tell me all about it. I told him I'd keep a journal of what I do. Mine will be considerably different than his.

So far, here's what today looks like. When I got home from taking Tom to the airport, I trimmed the abelia shrubs in the back beds and the remaining side of the hedge. I didn't clean them up. I hate cleaning them up. I love to trip. I decided I would let Ralph do the cleanup when he puts down the final stack of mulch. I also trimmed a few things in the front, but I did clean that up sine it's in the front of the house and on the sidewalk. I came inside and finished a square on my art page of 2x2 squares.

I feel a little at loose ends. Like there are too many things to do. Where to start. Can I really learn to relax?

Punting

 Saturday we went to Cambridge--us and about a million other people. The city was just to the point of being overwhelming for me at this stage of the trip. We wanted to do the punting, since that is the quintessential Cambridge activity, plus, it's the only way to see the backs of the colleges. ( A punt, in case you don't know, is a lot like a gondolier. Maneuvering it is harder than it looks, evidenced by the number of amateurs who were all over the place, turning the river into an afternoon of bumper-punts.) We had the good sense to NOT try it ourselves and paid for a "chauffered" boat along with two young English couples, 26-28 years old, who were quite prepared! They popped the Prosecco and Coronas just as the boat started to move. It was great fun, but the punt jams were nonstop to the point that you had to give up trying to hear the tour guide and go with the moment of laughing at the silly folks trying to maneuver these boats on their own, feeling quite safe with our competent punter, even if we couldn't understand a word of what he was trying to tell us.Other than the punting, we really didn't give the city its due. It was just too much at this point.